30 Years Difference

1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair

1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1972: KEG
2002: EKG
  
1972: Acid rock
2002: Acid reflux
 
1972: Moving to California because it's cool
2002: Moving to California because it's warm

1972: Growing pot
2002: Growing pot belly

1972: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1972: Seeds and stems
2002: Roughage

1972: Killer weed
2002: Weed killer

1972: Hoping for a BMW
2002: Hoping for a BM  
 
1972: The Grateful Dead
2002: Dr. Kevorkian

1972: Going to a new, hip joint
2002: Receiving a new hip joint
 
1972: Rolling Stones
2002: Kidney Stones
 
1972: Being called into the principal's office
2002: Calling the principal's office

1972: Screw the system
2002: Upgrade the system
 
1972: Disco
2002: Costco
 
1972: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2002: Children begging you to get their heads shaved
 
1972: Passing the drivers' test
2002: Passing the vision test
 
1972: Whatever
2002: Depends
 
Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1983. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
 
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
 
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
 
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
 
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
 
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane Boss, de plane".
 
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
 
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
 
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
 
Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies in your life.

Richard D’Andrea Dover
In His Steps Ministries
Previous Jokes

To the world, you may just be somebody...but to somebody, you may be the world.
Bill Wilson, Metro Ministries