7 Degrees of Blonde
1st DEGREE: A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in
the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a
moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and
hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I
don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
2nd DEGREE: Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror,
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The
second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
3rd DEGREE: A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door, she finds him in the arms of a red head. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend
yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up,
you're next!"
4th DEGREE: A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of
them." A friend says," OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The
blonde replies, "that's easy: W."
5th DEGREE: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
6th DEGREE: A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch
and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My
Goodness!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that
was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Why, yes, officer,
I'm just fine" the blond e chirped. "Well, how in the world did this
happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer,
it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along
this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I
swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and
there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I
swerved.." "Uh, ma'am, 'the officer said,
cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was
your air freshener swinging back and forth."
7th DEGREE: Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the
crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit
patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the
house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at
the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down of the steps. Putting her
face in her hands she says, "I come home to find all my possessions
stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND
policeman!"
Richard D’Andrea Dover
In His
Steps Ministries
Previous
Jokes
To the world, you may
just be somebody...but to somebody, you may be the world.
Bill Wilson, Metro Ministries