Quotes from
Medical Records
The following quotes were taken from actual medical
records as dictated by physicians.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side
for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third
day it had completely disappeared.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began
seeing me in 1983.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also
appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Healthy-appearing decrepit
sixty-nine-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another
hospital.
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably
insignificant, with only a forty-pound weight gain in the past three days.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in
separate directions in early December.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this
lady pregnant.
The patient was in his usual state of good health
until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
She is numb from her toes down.
The skin was moist and dry.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Richard D’Andrea Dover
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