LOVE LANGUAGES
Sharing love with man and God
We will first talk on loving others, then we will discuss loving our God.
Some people are verbal, expressing their love in words. Others may never speak their affection, yet they show it by the things they do. Some people express their love by giving gifts, while others express their love by giving their time.
And there are others that express their love by hugging and touching.
When sharing our love with another person, a problem can arise when we express our love in a different ‘language’ than what is desired by the individual. We may truly desire to love the person, but the person may not interpret our actions as very loving. We may not be meeting their emotional need, because we are not speaking their primary love language.
Love Languages:
If a person interprets love by the speaking of kind words, and we are one who rarely says much, but gives great big hugs, the person may still feel that we do not love them.
You may be saying “What changed?” When we “fell in love” it did not matter how I expressed my love.
When we “fell in love”, it seemed as if it did not matter how each of us expressed love-we just felt cared for, admired, and appreciated by each other. We were in a state of euphoria. Most of us have experienced this ‘love high’. During this time, just talking or being with the person is enough for us. However, we also have come to understand that this ‘love high’ does not last forever. When this ‘high’ is gone, then it is time to share love in a way that will meet our lover’s emotional need.
We meet our spouse or friend’s emotional need by speaking one of the five love languages. How do we know what love language meets the need of another? Normally, the way a person expresses love is a reflection of how they interpret love. If a person is one who is always giving gifts, then most likely they are one who appreciates gifts and interprets them as signs of love.
We want to make it clear that the five love languages are equal in value. One is not better than the other. Their value is in how the other person interprets them. If you express your love through acts of service, your love is no better than someone who expresses love by giving words of appreciation.
"What if the love language of your spouse or friend is something that doesn't come naturally for you?" You do it anyways. Love is not based upon feelings. It is based upon action. When you do something that doesn't come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love. And as you do something more often, it becomes more natural. As you met your spouse or friend’s emotional need, they are more willing to express love to you in your love language.
We should also be willing to adapt. If our spouse or friend expresses their love all the time by gifts, it would be good to receive their gifts as signs of love and not reject their giving. By adapting, we have a greater ability of receiving love in a variety of ways.
So, what does this all have
to do with God?
Our Lord speaks and receives love in
all five languages. So we cannot go wrong in our love relationship with God. No
matter what our love language is, Jesus will receive it as love from us. Let’s
look at the five love languages and see how they apply to God and others.
1. Words of Affirmation (Praise)
We express words of affirmation to
others by saying:
"What a nice dress!", "Thank you for doing the dishes", "The art project you brought home from school is simply beautiful.", “I love you”, "I appreciate that you took out the trash with out my even asking."
We express words of affirmation to God by saying:
“You are mighty and rule over all the earth”, “You are my deliverer and I praise Your name”, “You are the Most High God”.
The Lord expresses words of
affirmation to us when He says:
”I began a good work in you and I will complete it”. “You are the bride of
Christ and I love you”.
Words are powerful, whether they are the actual word or the tone of voice in which they were said. A person who speaks the language of Words of Affirmation needs to constantly hear words of encouragement and praise. They know they are loved when someone says, "I love you!" or "You did a beautiful job!" or "All that working out is making your muscles get larger!" AND when they feel that person truly means it!
2. Acts of Service (Serving Him by ministering to others)
You express your love to
others by serving them.
Doing whatever you know will make them happy. This is the language of people who
don’t need to be told they are loved they need you to SHOW them. Little Acts of
Service are how they know they are loved. This means the dishes are done,
laundry completed, grass is mowed, trash is out, dinner is done,
We express love to God by
serving Him through acts of service to others
“Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these,
ye did it not to me.” Speaking about feeding the hungry, helping the sick,
visiting the imprisoned.
God serves us by:
Sending His ministering angels and answering our prayers.
3. Gifts (Giving Tithes and Offerings)
You express your love by
giving gifts.
These people like the idea that someone thought enough of them to get them
something - anything. A handful of dandelions, pizza for dinner or calling in
sick so you can spend time together are all treasured by a gifts person.
Sometimes your time can be the most valuable gift if given at the right time.
Giving tithes and offerings is our way of giving gifts to God.
God blesses us with gifts of
health, financial blessings, eternal rewards.
He says He will bless a cheerful giver and
give us more back than what we give Him.
4. Quality Time (Worship, Meditation, Prayer)
You express your love by
spending time together and spending time in quality conversation.
This means undivided attention goes to the person you love and not the TV,
baseball game, or the boss. All your attention goes to the one you love -- the
one who feels they are loved, only by YOU spending time with THEM. Maintain eye
contact when talking. Don’t listen and do something else at the same time.
Listen for feelings. Observe body language. Refuse to interrupt.
We express love to God by spending time in His word, prayer, and meditating on Him.
God gives us quality time by speaking to us through His word and in our prayer times.
5. Physical Touch (experience his presence)
You express your love by
physically touching the person.
Any kind of gentle and loving touch: a hug, caress, a hand on your shoulder,
holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, running your fingers threw someone’s hair.
Physical touch does not mean
sex.
For some people they would rather be held and touched, more than anything else
that you do.
You express your love to God
by being willing to be in His presence.
This means do not hide from God. It also
means to go where He is-being in church, at revival meetings, talking walks with
just you and Him.
God expresses His love to us by sending the presence of His Holy Spirit, by living within us.
Closing
Some of you have not loved your mate or best friend in the love language
that speaks to their heart. Because of this, they have not felt loved. Are you
willing to start speaking love in the language that speaks to their heart? Are
you willing to adapt to them? In fact, are you willing actually repent for not
loving them in a greater way? Let's pray.
Some of you have rejected the love given to you because it was not the way you wanted. You know your spouse or friend loves you, but you are being selfish and rejecting their love. You are demanding them love you your way. It is time to receive love in more than one language. Lets pray.
Most important of all is that some of you have rejected God's love. Because of wounding in your heart you have not seen His love for you. It's time to open your heart and mind to the love of Jesus Christ and your Heavenly Father. The Holy Spirit right now is tugging on your heart. Lets pray.