Rehabilitation and Real Life Struggles
I just want to reach out to those that may see my positivity in my recovery and let you know; I too struggle daily to remain positive and rely on God to get me through the day. Every day brings with it new challenges and plenty of reminders of my weakness.
Tonight, my father shot a deer with his bow and the deer ran into the woods, wounded. A couple neighbor friends helped him track the deer while my step-mom kept calling me on the phone and updating me. I became infuriated that I couldn’t join in. Currently, I am having severe pain in my back since my last surgery and my doctors are trying to figure it out. I can only walk short distances on even terrain. Before the accident, I would have been chasing the deer in the woods with a buck knife in my teeth.
Tonight, I became bitter, angry and furious that I felt so useless and restricted. I started overeating food to try and bury my feelings with an old vice instead of turning to God. My anger and hatred of the situation was aimed right at God. I blamed Him for it all. It took time for me to calm down, a couple hours, and then I had to limp back to God and sheepishly apologize and ask for His strength and love. We all find ourselves in situations we hate to be in, often due to sin or carelessness on our part. It can be hard to trust God and make wise and healthy choices and we will fall short many times. What matters and what makes the difference is what you do after you fall. Are you too prideful to admit your mistakes? Is the shame too unbearable? Do you feel you are unforgivable? Don’t believe the lies of the devil and your own carnal thoughts. Believe in the one who created you, the one who died for you, the one who is always faithful no matter what we do. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and put your eyes on Him and he will sustain you.- Joshua Dover
